In high school and beyond, the pressure to “do it” comes from virtually everywhere. Research shows that between 77-90% of teens have reported feelings of peer pressure.1 However, peer pressure does not always appear how it does on television; peer pressure can work in more subtle yet powerful ways. Many assume that giving in to such peer pressure a singular time won’t have a lasting impact, but the truth is, even seemingly insignificant actions can have lasting impacts.
Why Peer Pressure Happens
While many reasons and situations make peer pressure dangerous, they all stem from one core need: the desire to belong. As humans, we all want to feel accepted and valued. Everyone wants to have friends and feel “cool,” but this desire often makes us vulnerable to peer pressure. This desire is particularly strong in teens as during this time, their brains undergo changes that make them highly attuned to social situations. This, combined with the ultrasensitive reward system in the brain, creates a strong pull to fit in, even at the cost of better judgment.2
Many times, it feels easier to just “go with the flow” and say yes to what someone is offering to avoid the awkwardness.Social media amplifies this pressure by showing videos of people having fun, making it seem almost “weird” not to “take a hit” or “crack open a can” because, in their minds, everyone else is doing it.
Why It Matters
In these instances, peer pressure isn’t just about a single action; it’s about creating a pattern. The consistent use of drugs and alcohol during adolescent years has been found to interfere with brain development, lower academic ability, and create long-term health risks.3
Beyond the health or legal risks involved, there is the personal cost. Giving in to peer pressure can erode your self-confidence, effectively making it harder to say no next time and launching a snowball effect. Over time, this can shift your values and priorities away from what matters most to you.
How To Say No
While it is never easy to say no in these situations, we must stay strong. Here are several methods of saying no that I have personally used:
- Say no with confidence
A simple, “Nah, I don’t do that stuff” with confidence has worked wonders for me, as it typically garners more of a sense of respect than ridicule.
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Surround yourself with people who share similar values I’ve found it’s always easier to say no when you’re around other people also saying no.
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Think of an excuse
If you find yourself getting flustered once you are asked to do something you don’t want to do, have an excuse already planned. Something like, “No, I have a game tomorrow,” or “I’m driving tonight.”
It’s important to know that you never have to do anything you don’t want to do. Never feel the need to conform to what others are doing, and if people judge you for that, they are the “weird” ones.